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The feed opens up on a slightly jaundiced eye, wild and a little bloodshot. It twitches unnaturally, then squints in glee as the hand holding the Pokègear pulls away, revealing a maturely handsome man in a newly acquired Rocket outfit, stroking his goatee thoughtfully. He poses for the camera, admiring his image in the eye's reflection.
"My, don't you look absolutely riveting, sir. Black suits you… Though that's more than I can say for this place..."
Discord glances around, eyes swiveling around appraisingly, as if selecting which things to keep and which to spruce up a bit. It’s clear that it’s largely disposed to the latter; the room behind him is a depressingly grey little hole, and it is clear that despite the man's seemingly constant gleeful grin that Discord is more than slightly perturbed by things. He glances below-camera, eyes scanning quickly.
"Pokègear...yadda yadda connections....something something make friends, oh please, why do something so positively droll...pah!" A small booklet goes flying past the camera, shedding pages like new snow, one of which lands on his nose. Raised eyebrow and licked lips; within seconds he is chewing thoughtfully.
"Hm. Even paper tastes differently here...How delightfully…tasteless. It's no cotton candy, but it will do. Oh fine, what do <i>you</i> want?”
“Sol.”
The camera spins on a quietly sitting Absol, wearing the closest ‘Orly’ expression that a Pokèmon is likely to achieve. It has a slim black bandanna around its head emblazoned with a violently red ‘R’. A scoff from off camera, followed by a flying paper ball (which the Absol naturally dodges).
“Oh like you haven’t.”
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From:
Audio
[She doesn't want to think about what he's implying, even though, it seems, she implied it herself. He's very good about twisting her words around, and she's letting herself get entirely too caught up in it. The very idea of her having to spend another thousand years... alone... ]
We have no need to defend ourselves to thou, Discord. Whither or not we have friendly relations in this place has nothing to do with thou! We have had nothing to do with thou for one thousand years, our matters are of no concern to thou!
Do not call us Lulu!
And we shall defeat though once more! Twilight Sparkle and her friends have done it before, and we are certain they shall do it again!
From:
Audio (1/3)
[Tone: jovial surprise]
"Goodness me, it seems like I've struck a nerve. Perhaps you weren't being entirely honest with yourself, hm? You know, lying isn't a good habit to have when you're Canterlot Royalty. It might get you over your head."
From:
Audio (2/3)
"...so be very sure when you try and act the bold, brave pony, my DEAR Princess, lest that be to your detriment. Lies are -nasty- little things. They hurt you, they’ll endanger your friends, and in the end they’ll SHUN YOU, as they did last time. People don’t like being around a troublemaker and a menace, even a -reformed- one. Even now, they’re probably scheming about you, plotting against you, waiting to give you the ol’ boot. Sound familiar? Just as your sister left you, hm? And you need all the friends you can get don’t you, my little pony.”
From:
Audio (3/3)
“Really, that’s the most the unbridled power of the Princess of the Night can come to bear on me? Oh, I’m positively terrified. [Squeaky voice] ‘Oh, I’ll show that meanie Discord! I’ll get my big, strong friends to beat him up! They’re always there to protect me! That’ll show him!’ Such majesty, such -strength- our fair Princess has. Why, when I knew you, you had such fire. Order has not been kind to you, my dear.”
From:
Audio
[Yes she is.]
And even if, by chance, we were... we are doubtful the citizens of this world would go so far as to shun us for something as simple as a lie. Many lie each day, and none hath been shunned. We shall be forgiven for such a thing, especially if it tis for their own good.
[At least.... that's what she's hoping.]
Fine! We do not need Twilight Sparkle, nor her friends. As magic does not exist in this world, we shall take thou on ourselves. With the inability to create chaos, we shall have no problems defeating thou ourselves!
From:
Audio
Discord lets loose a deep, throaty chuckle, and it’s as if he’s leaned up closer to the Pokègear, drinking in her discomfort like the connoisseur he is. Still, this game is growing tiresome; what point is causing chaos without being out to enjoy it?
“I’m sure you can, dear Princess. I’m sure a Princess, cooped up for…what was it again? A thousand years? I’m sure a Princess, cooped up for a thousand years, can easily defeat a little ol’ draconequus like myself, especially without both of our powers. Just like old times. Better by far to deal with it yourself regardless, I’d say. Wouldn’t want the Mare in the Moon to show her face again in a moment of passion, would you. A lie might be one thing, but showing yourself to have tried to take over the world would be quite another. <3”
From:
Audio
[Oh, hey are your hands bleeding? You shouldn't dig your nails into you palm that hard...]
We are more than certain that we shall be able to defeat thou without returning to our Nightmare Moon self! We have made it so that we shall never change into that... monster again, so thou needn't worry about that!
From:
Audio
“Stop it! By Equestria, my ribs can’t take much more of this. You are simply TOO much! Really, you really know how to entertain an old draconequus houseguest. Though really, this is a serious matter! You should learn when to be honest with yourself, my little pony. Nopony knows evil like I know evil, and rest assured, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Why, if your older sister couldn’t even banish you permanently, white pony overlord that she is, what makes you think that our cute little Princess has a chance?”
An abrupt sigh, and faint growling. Someone has somepony on a tight schedule, and there’s not much Discord can do about it. For now.
“One more thing, dearest Luna, before I depart from your most pleasurable company. If neither Twilight and her friends, armed with those pretty little Elements, and Celestia herself couldn’t hold back chaos from being wreaked, what makes you think you can? Good luck out there, little Lula.”
[Disconnect]